The real meaning and idea of Homesick

Homesick

Homesick is an album dedicated to my ex and the relationship we had, with Thank You being the intro to the album, and MTV being the real start to it. The album is divided into three main chunks, just like my last album AOTP. The album goes from being completely in love with the person and appreciating their existence/presence in my life, down to realizing something is wrong and the other person not wanting to fix the relationship while having worsening thoughts, then to the other person finally fixing some stuff and making the relationship better for about three weeks, and then back down finding out they did something unforgiveable and the album ends off on a sad note which is a break up. The song Guilt being the final goodbye and outro the album, and relationship.

Thank You

A song directly thanking my ex for everything that she had done for and with me. Appreciating memories and wishing that I could go back and make things right, that I'd always choose her regardless of the timeline and I'd make sure no one did her wrong. That's really all it is, a literal thank you to my ex along with the entire album because it is dedicated to the relationship we had.

MTV

A song about being in love with someone while knowing that they are bad for you, but what could go wrong, right?

About being in love with a person and realizing that others around you are actually fake and don't deserve to be around you, kind of like love opened your third eye and helped you see the truth behind things. Going from a low perspective in life to valuing everything and seeing beauty in things again. Throughout the song the idea is being in a relationship, things moving a bit too fast, ending up hurt, feeling exhausted from the emotional fatigue, but then coming back to your senses and going back to the person you love.

Intimacy

There's no other way for me to put it, this song is all sexual. Looking back at the relationship and remembering everything that had happened. That's all I'm putting here lol.

Poltergeist

A song about kind of losing feelings/realizing that the person you love isn't exactly what they seem. Being haunted by the negative thoughts from before but wanting to move on and love your partner to the fullest. Hidden meanings throughout the entire song, try to find them :)

Acknowledging that the person you are with is harming you but continuing to stay in a relationship with them. "Putting it aside, she's my favorite poison" is the best way I would put the relationship since every time that I would have reasons to be happy, they would come along and ruin it all but I'd excuse it because I just loved them. More towards the end of the song, the topic of running out of gas is a metaphor for how fast the relationship was moving and that keeping that same pace was exhausting.

Flowers

Flowers is a song where the album starts to shift into kind of a heartbreak tone. Flowers is a song that directly goes over how even while I'm with someone that I love, that I still feel alone and unable to truly love myself because of their decisions. Being told that they don't love my anymore while being told that I'm not enough and everything else adding up was really put into this song.

Out of My Head

This is the first song on the album where there is a hit of realization that my partner is the only thing slowing my down. Coming to terms with the fact that all she had done was harm me for the last couple months, this song is the output of that. "Try to run as fast as you can, I'm leaving you behind, kind of how you left me just to go and talk to another guy".

I wish I knew

I just wish I knew. I wish I knew that all my time was just going to waste. That all my efforts were for nothing and that all the love and trust I had put into that person was thrown away out of their own selfishness.

Halls

Reminiscing on the memories that we had together, I'm able to snap back into reality and think my choices through. Do I leave, or do I stay?

"Found you in my abyss, flowers were blooming around both of us, you know that I love you, I can't let go"

Back To You

Coming back to the same person that had hurt me, while being upset that their actions had left me with permanent trauma, the hope that I had was outshining everything else. I gave them another chance, I went back to her.

Ups and Downs

The relationship seems to be going good now, a couple months pass and things are for the most part good. No big issues, just wishing we had more time together. Going through the ups and downs of a relationship is normal and all, but this time it felt a little too good, there had to have been a reason to why everything seemed almost perfect. That's because it was too perfect, I was so blinded by hope and love that I didn't realize what she did was so incredibly wrong. This song is overall meant to be like a "I forgive you, let's move on" type of song.

Solitude

Everything is horrible. Life is not going my way, she's becoming more distant, I'm losing myself.

Look At My Eyes

Being told that I was the problem, that what I had worked hard to build was all torn down out of her selfish behavior, throwing away everything that we had worked together for. Looking in my eyes you'd see the tears forming but never dropping, not feeling safe enough around her to let my guard down. I was done with all the games she'd play with me, messing with my emotions and my head non-stop was not going to continue, especially after everything she had done to me.

Strangers

The breakup. The hardest couple months, weeks, days, it all felt so surreal. My shoulders didn't feel tense anymore, I could drop my eyelids, I could breathe fully again. There was beauty in everything and I realized that the person I thought was my light was really the person taking the color out of my world. This song is meant to completely look back at what I would have done if I had known it was going to end how it did.

Guilt

Moving on from the relationship but taking a moment to look back one last time and realize that the bad really did outweigh the good in the end. The song marking a new chapter in my life acknowledging the truth that I was too blinded to see in the moment.